11 Down, 1 To Go

After today, I have one chemo treatment with Taxol left.

One.

I am so ready to be done with chemo. So ready.

The birds woke me up about 5 am and I was at the hospital by 7:30 am. I started my appointment shortly after 8 am, finished my infusion and left the hospital at 12:30 pm this afternoon. It’s 4:30 pm right now and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. Last week, I closed them for a short nap and woke up at 9 pm, 5 hours later. So much for dinner. Good thing I wasn’t particularly hungry.

This is my life now.

I need a nap five minutes after I get out of bed. I spend most of my day fighting off the urge to take a nap. When I finally give in, I sleep for hours. On AC chemo, I could take an hour nap and feel okay. Taxol doesn’t work that way.

So much irony. I was the child who never needed a nap. I drove my mother crazy. I became the adult who averaged 14-18 hour days every day. I *was* the Energizer Bunny.

My body’s tired. My brain is tired. All of me is just plain tired.

I need to find out if I will get any part of my short term memory and cognitive function back. I need to find out how much neuropathy is going to be permanent. How much feeling I will get back in my feet and if the pain will ever go away I want some of my energy level back. I am eager to get past this big mountain of surgery and radiation.

I am eager to be done.

Eager to get back to my life. A little different life than before, but still MY life. Not cancer’s life. Not chemo’s life. Not radiation’s life.

MY life.

 

About Pink Ribbon Road

This blog is about receiving and living with a breast cancer diagnosis.
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